Transforming Communication - Empowering Parents

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Are you... - Tired of nagging at the kids? - Dealing with their stroppy behaviour? - Arguing with your spouse?

Whether it's the kids, your spouse, your ex, your boss, colleagues, employees, the neighbours, your in-laws, it's common for arguments to go round and round in circles and never get resolved. And it's frustrating as heck, right?

Why does this happen? Why are the people we love and/or work with so bloody minded and unreasonable?

And why are the dishes on the bench still sitting there? OMG?

Two main reasons: - Words are slippery - Your brain is wired to defend yourself at all costs

Words are slippery - the meaning gets lost in translation. Words are code. People have to decode your code. With their ears and brains.

And our brains are designed to defend us from tigers racing out of the forest, or zombies trying to bash down our front door, or people trying to change who we are.

So when people are upset or tense, they hear their fear, not your intention. Also, we wanted to be accepted "warts and all" for who we are at the deepest levels. So we resist changing.

Back to upset - did you know that John Gottman researched thousands of couples and found that if their pulse rate got above about 97 beats a minute, there was no chance of resolving a conflict. None. ZILCH.

Not even the best conflict resolutions skills in the world will work when your heart is racing and your fight-freeze-flight (amygdala) brain is running the show. You have to switch off that brain and turn on your other one. You must get that pulse rate down!

He also found that long term happy couples who stick together know how to use language to keep each other's pulse rate down during a fight. Yes - they still fight - just as much as unhappy couples!

So what's the difference? Happy couples listen for their partner's deepest dreams and wishes, and they know how to find the suppressed wishes, dreams and goals inside a negative complaint.

As a result, they know that a good fight leads to greater insight, connection and intimacy. It deepens the bond and they look for a result where they can both win. Not compromise. Both win!

Unhappy couples experience a fight as emotionally traumatic. So over time, they give up complaining, or expressing their wishes and goals. It just feels too hard. It feels like there's a wall there. It's win/lose, it's an uncomfortable compromise, or it's lose/lose.

If there are kids involved, they're taking notice. And they're learning from you, consciously and unconsciously.

They're also learning how it feels to win and to lose. Would you like them to know how a win/win solutions feels? There are times when you will have achieved that. And times when you didn't.

What if you could learn a process to make sure that happened most of the time, and what to do to repair relationships when it doesn't?

What would you personally gain from knowing how to hang out for win/win outcomes at home, and at work?

Would that be worth 27 hours of your time? Spread over a month?

For the price of a decent model smart phone - which is the better communication tool long term?

I'm David Gill and I am so passionate about this course. It's my belief that everyone not only needs what this course has to offer, they desperately want it, even if they don't know it yet.

I believe these skills make more of a difference in the communication age than any other skill. And after you've done the course I am pretty sure you will agree with me.

Look in the comments below to see what other people have said about the course. Or just give me a ring on 0275 11 69 94 to have a chat or flick me an email at david@yourrealdreams.com and lets get you enrolled today!

Let's transform our world folks! NB - This course is over 9 three hour sessions between the 10th Nov and 15th Dec. It runs Sat afternoons and Sun mornings. For a flyer with dates and times email david@yourrealdreams.com or direct message me.

Dates & Times

  • Sat, November 24, 2018 (3:15pm to 6:15pm)
  • Sun, November 25, 2018 (10:00am to 1:00pm)
  • Sat, December 01, 2018 (3:15pm to 6:15pm)
  • Sun, December 02, 2018 (10:00am to 1:00pm)
  • Sat, December 08, 2018 (3:15pm to 6:15pm)
  • Sun, December 09, 2018 (10:00am to 1:00pm)
  • Sat, December 15, 2018 (3:15pm to 6:15pm)

More information

LocationOld Public Trust Building, 69 Bank St, Whangarei
WebsiteVisit Event Website →
Cost $780.00 TC Course
Phone0275116994
RestrictionsAll Ages

Venue details

Address69 Bank St